Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
