I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
