dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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