Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
