So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I have post one night stand depression
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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