we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
