so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
