White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
