i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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