We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
