loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
