I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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