You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
