I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
