I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
