Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
