I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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