I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
