I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
