69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
