THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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