So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
