question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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