If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
