To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
