Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
