my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
