No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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