I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
