Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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