I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
