Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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