broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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