I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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