I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
