The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
