I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
