I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
