Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
