Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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