How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Why did my mother make you get naked?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
