omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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