They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
