It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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