I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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