he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
