I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
