This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
