I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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