It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
