I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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