I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
