If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We had to coat check the pizza.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
